COOLER!!

Choosing the wrong lane!! I think I literally have the WORST luck when it comes to the selection of any sort of lane or line. Most recently I attended an Ottawa Senators game and I am a die hard Sens fan so I hate to miss ANY of the action. During the 1st intermission, I decide it would be a great time to go and get a beverage and a nice big ball park dog. I stroll up to the seemingly steady flowing lines and analyze the tweens behind the counter to decide which line is best for my speed and efficiency. I see one guy who looks like he is having a great time which to me spells trouble as he is likely taking his sweet ass time and has some weird fetish for pissing off impatient clientele such as myself. I opt for line 1 of 4 which has a larger gentlemen who seems to enjoy concession stands more then I do based on sheer size and assume he will know where to get the food, and how to get it fast. After 30 seconds I realize based on the frustrated patrons in front of me that this was the wrong choice. Not only was King Kong slow, but he seemed to be "In Training" based on his sideways lying name tag that likely was not used to sitting on such elegant man breasts. After literally 20 minutes and approximately 15 new faces in the line directly to my right, I decide to do the unthinkable and SWITCH LINES, assuming that line 2 of 4 will continue to move smoothly as it has been. FAIL. Not only does line 2's cash freeze after 1 customer, but line 1 is running smoother then a baby's ass. Not only do I miss 50% of the second period but by the time I get back to my seat I am STEAMING with anger and have no interest in doing anything with my hot dog and beer other then throwing it at the opposing fans faces. Trust your gut! COOLER! 

HEATER!!


Fresh starts! I have been with my current employer for close to 5 years and truly love what I do. Every day I come to work, I spend my day helping people and then I go home with a smile on my face (usually) and a feeling of accomplishment which in today's workforce is hard to find. With that being said I had fell into a certain comfort zone at my old location that was starting to make me somewhat lackadaisical and non-productive which as an employee is not the best position to be in. I made the conscious decision to transfer out of suburbia and into the core of Downtown Ottawa. Totally different demographic and new challenges. I have loved every minute of it. Made me think of what a HEATER it is to get a seemingly impossible second chance at the same job.

HEATER!! 

The elevator! Ever since I’ve been a little boy I’ve always been obsessed with elevators. When you think about it, it’s pretty much the poor mans time machine. You get in at one place, push a button and then see nothing but the door in front of you and the smell of the overweight sweating man to your immediate right.Next thing you know the door opens and you’re somewhere else. How amazing it that! As a kid there’s always the epic fight for WHO gets to push the button, so I just stopped asking and have stepped in front of multiple children to win the honour. Sorry you little bastards.... Big papi is pressing this time machine button. Elevators of all shapes and sizes are amazing. Definitely warrants a HEATER!! 

HEATER!!

Gravy!! I am not fat nor do I think I’m overweight in any way although my friends like to take jabs at the old pushing 30 shape I’ve become…..with that said as a disclaimer….I LOVE gravy. Chicken gravy, turkey gravy, poutine gravy, you name it I Love it. My family always makes fun of me because of the fact that I clean the table at Swiss Chalet or St. Hubert of all remaining sauce cups but to be honest....THIS IS ME.  Gravy is life. Gravy is heaven on earth. Gravy is the best food group in the world!! HEATER!! 

COOLER!!


When you call into a radio station and you're 1 caller off what they want! In my existence here on earth, I have followed a total of roughly 3-4 different radio stations as my tastes changed and the contract for each expired and they had to rename them. As everyone knows each radio station has it's own individual contests and as such they want a specific caller to win the prize. Currently it's caller 9. I have over the years been caller 3, caller 5, caller 6 caller 7 and most recently caller 8. Which is really a slap in the testes. They even give you the time of day when you call making you think you MAY be the 9th caller.....and then they drop the bomb on you and ruin your day. Shots to the testes = COOLER!~ 

HEATER!!

Going to the barber and seeing hockey posters and men’s hair cuts from the 80’s! I was sitting down yesterday in the barber shop getting a 2 on the sides little bit of the top….and came to the realization that Barbers easily have the worst taste in decorating known to man. You either get the photos of men’s hair cuts that have been on the wall since the barber shop opened in 1974 or you get the oversized hockey posters of Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux and Felix Potvin. I was with my 5 year old son at the time and as we left they gave him a pack of hockey cards which I thought was a very kind gesture……my son LIVES for hockey……the best part though was that it was from a 1991-1992 hockey card set!! Such a HEATER!! 

HEATER!!


Turning yourself into a prehistoric creature through everyday endeavors!! I was walking down the street this morning on the hunt for a coffee edifice and  realized that my hands, although quite toasty, were mangled up in my jacket like I was a T-Rex with miniature hands. I have a long brushed wool business coat and the pockets are very European you could say, hovering an inch below my manly nipples. Luckily no one has x-ray vision through my jacket because I would look like a complete donk! HEATER!! 

COOLER!!

When nothing in your day is going right and you want to go on a baby punching tangent!! You know those days when you wake up late, you're in a panic and trying to rush. Then you're out of toothpaste, you can't find clean socks or ANY socks for that matter, haven't done laundry so you toss on the day old's for underwear post smell test and then forget your lunch on the counter. To top things off the coffee that you had 5 seconds to make tastes like shit and then as you're speeding to work it spills all over you. Great start. Day can only get better right?! WRONG. There's an accident on the highway and you're 110% going to be late for work and then when you finally arrive an hour late you're district president is visiting. No better impression then a late, panicked, coffee filled donk sweating in anxiety that has bad breathe and no socks. Uber COOLER!!

HEATER!

Studying for anything and actually doing well on it!! I recently after not being in school for the last 9 years had to go through some vigorous exams for my employment. Nothing to ridiculous but enough that I had to dedicate multiple nights and weekends to my studies and therefore away from my free time which I'm not a fan of. Ending up completing both exams successfully and have never felt better. No better feeling then working hard for something and actually attaining it!! Small HEATER but a HEATER none the less!! BINK!!

p.s. Actually get to keep my job now! :)

CUTEST KID ALIVE

HEATER!

Seeing a super cute baby in public loving life and enjoying a snack of their hand. It's contagious. The loving life part, not the chewing of the hands. We all wish we could be kids forever, so when we see a baby, or small child playing without a care in the world, it makes you do one of two things. Hate life because you want to be playing tag and street hockey instead of going to work....OR smile and think about all the good memories you had growing up. Have a great day!