HEATER!!

The anticipation for a trip! Whether its road trip, a trip across the world or just a trip to your favourite restaurant; the anticipation and excitement you have building up to the departure is always a HEATER.  You talk about it to everyone you know and they all hate you for it and of course you make sure to tell them every little detail about how much fun you’re going to have, how great the drinks will taste and how much you wish they could come with you…..but in your head all you’re thinking is SUCKAS!!! HAHAHAHA. Such a HEATER!

COOLER!!

Getting ANYTHING shot or thrown at your genitals!! I don’t know it’s the same for women, as I can only speak for myself, but the feeling and anticipation of pain that comes along with that split second before you’re about to get sacked is one of the biggest COOLERS a man can experience. I’ve gotten everything from soccer balls, hockey pucks, tennis balls, back hand slaps and the worst of all….the donkey punch! None feel better then other, so hold your breathe, take a knee and caress those suckers cause you’re in for a bumpy few hours!! COOLER!

HEATER!!

Technology! How great is it to have a machine make coffee for you at the touch of a button, or play someone at a video game that lives in Argentina?! Some of the simplest things that we take for granted every day are some of the coolest technologies ever created. Think about this for a second…I’m typing this sitting at my home laptop. You’re reading it online from a different location, different city or different country and it was sent IMMEDIATELY for the rest of the world to see. How crazy is that? They used to think black and white television was cool, imagine where we’ll be in 10 years!! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Arguments caused by Facebook! Haha. I had to laugh while I was waiting in line last night at the local Loblaw’s and heard a teenage couple behind me in line bickering about someone posting on dudes wall. It went down like this VERBATIM:

Chick- “who the f*ck is Julie and why the hell did she add you as a friend?”  

Dude- “she’s Corey’s sister’s friend…..I told you about her”

Chick – “or the wh*re that Mark slept with at Rachel’s party?”

Dude – “the same”

Chick – “so I guess your next on her f*ck list then??!!”

Dude – “you got it, we’re meeting up tonight………you’re an idiot”

Chick – “go f*ck yourself”

She then proceeds to storm through the cash and walk out of the store…..I look around in amazement that no one else but the cashier witnessed this and gave her the WTF jaw drop open eyed stare! AMAZING for us….COOLER for him. Good ol’ F*ckbook….

HEATER!!

Long morning pees! Guys might be the only ones who can relate to this, but there’s a certain pride you take in being able to pee for over a long period of time in the morning. I’ve been known to purposely leave the door open when I feel my bladder is full enough to make a statement and let the world know….I OWN THE LONGEST PEE RECORD!! Tell your friends!! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Breaking a bone right before a vacation!! I have to say I’m lucky and this hasn’t happened to me, but one of my close friends at work is preparing for a trip to Mexico with her friends in 4 days and strolls in with a cast on her arm!!! Hahahaha!! No swimming, no ocean, just basting in the sun with no way to refresh…at least drinks are allowed with broken limbs!! COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Advice! I love the advice that you get from seasoned vet’s….people that have been through the trenches and seen the up’s and down’s life has to offer.  You may not always accept it, but having someone who can share a tale or two, toss a couple cliches your way and make you feel slightly better about your situation can be a HEATER on a cold day. :)

COOLER!!

The power going out! I was sitting at home yesterday on my day off, enjoying some sports highlights and the odd game of Xbox, when I experience one of the biggest COOLERS during the day that can possibly happen. The POWER GOES OUT! Break out the candles and flashlights at night, or the book (if you have any) or cell phone during the day, because it’s CIRCA 1800 AC day and you’re the star!

HEATER!!

Sports highlights! Not only do you not have to watch the game, but you get someone to hand craft a 30 second strip of all the best highlights of the game for your viewing pleasure! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

The beginning of Winter!! I woke up today to my fiance telling me that she bailed in the driveway due to the ice rink we had in our driveway! Winter in Canada is comparible to no other season. It's cold, icy, frustrating, bitter and at times the worst part of your day. Winter tires, winter gloves, winter jackets, winter everything!! F.U.W!