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HEATER!!

BANGERS!! I don't mean the gang banger type banger either...I'm talking a good ol' fashioned, club bumping, fist pumping, foot stomping BANGER!! I have always been a fan of multiple genres of music, but there's only one type that will literally make me scream mid song out of shear energy and passion.....one genre that will make me stop everything and dance....one genre that will make me say......NO I will not two step....No I will not tap my knee with my palm.....I'm going to get on the floor, pump my fist, jump around like a epileptic seizure and dance the night away.....CLUB BANGERS!!

COOLER!!

Construction workers that stop traffic!! I was driving home from work today and some neon vest wearing donk decided it was his obligation to stop traffic on a 2 lane street so that a backhoe can slooooooowly reverse in the middle of the street, pretty much wave his middle finger to everyone wanting to get home and the sloooooowly goes back to the side of the road. Now don't get me wrong, if it were a city employee or something that was actually using my tax dollars fine.....but they were working on PRIVATE property, were a PRIVATE company and had absolutely no jurisdiction to stop traffic or impede the drive home for so many of us. GET OFF YOURSELF!!

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HEATER!!

Moustaches!! I received an email today from a colleague to grow a moustache in the month of November to support Prostate Cancer. I'm all for moustaches and all for supporting prostates so it's pretty much a done deal. I sported the most outrageous handlebars and chops for Canada's run in the Olympics last year and either got high fives from strangers or the dirtiest looks from women wanting to slap me...either were fine as my point was to make a statement. The ringing of the cowbell and blowing of the vuvuzela more then likely didn't help the dirty looks either. :) Here's to loud obnoxious friends, and more importantly loud obnoxious friends with ridiculous moustaches!! HEATER!

COOLER!!

Commercials!! Maybe it's 3rd and long in the 4th quarter of the Superbowl....or your team is about to go on a powerplay with 2 minutes left down by one.....or maybe even Derek Sheppard is about to be shot by a serial killer while Meredith watches from a distance...regardless of the situation......regardless of how great that Arby's burger looks for 30 seconds.....even regardless of your mental state of mind....commercials have always been and will always be one of the biggest daily COOLERS we encounter....I don't care if PC finally outlasted MAC or if SAFE HAPPENS for some VW owners....all I want is a commercial free, cinematic experience. THANK GOD FOR PVR....and now....back to your regular scheduled internet surfing! :)

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HEATER!!

Getting what you want!! You know the second you hear two options which one you want....sometimes you can control it, sometimes you can't, but the feeling of wanting something specific and GETTING IT at the end of the day is such a HEATER. I would say it's pretty much the same feeling as someone bringing you something to eat without you knowing and it's EXACTLY the order that you love. Big Mac, extra pickles.....FANTASTIC.

COOLER!!

Getting picked last in gym class!! I won't lie, it's never happened to me....but the dejection on little Jimmy's face when he hears captains will be selecting the teams instead of Mr. Johnson handing out pinny's is like no other.  I might as well have grabbed a bag of dog shit, lit it on fire and thrown it at him. Another long 45 minutes of first period physical education and another disappointed student fighting through the social network of that dungeon called High School.  GG (good game) LIFE! Jimmy pass the F'IN ball!! :)





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HEATER!!

All you can eat buffets!! You are sitting at home, can't think about what to eat but your stomach is growling, staaaarving.......your cell phone goes off and it's your friend with a simple "buffet?" text message and instantly you mind wonders to hot plate after hot plate of singapore noodles, sushi, spicy beef and prime rib....your mouth starts to water and you reply with a "where- X buffet/ when- 5 MINUTES AGO!" text....off you go to your fantasy of food and all of the great side affects that come along with that! There is one buffet I've been to at Caesar's Palace in LV and they actually brought me out a seafood platter on shaved ice to my table....crab legs, muscles, shrimp, oysters...if it had ever see the touch f salt water, it was on this plate.....just HEAVENLY! Mmmmmm...

COOLER!!

Bad days!! I was sitting here having trouble thinking of a really good COOLER and then realized I've having a really shitty day, and thought I'd use that since it's probably the most common and over looked COOLER of all. You wake up and just have that feeling....that feeling that you're going to want to kill every single person that crosses you and explode on anyone that decides today's the day they're going to challenge your argument in the lunchroom. IN the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman "BIG MISTAKE.....HUGE!"....I deal with people everyday so when I have a bad day it basically boils up inside as I can't be angry with my clients and gets unleashed on some unsuspecting civilian who runs in front of my car on the way home. Perfect example....4-5 years ago I was having the aforementioned bad day and was driving down St. Laurent Blvd near the Red Lobster...(for those of you that live in Ottawa) and I saw the light beginning to change from green to yellow. I sped up as I was in a hurry and saw the man in the on coming traffic waiting to turn left non-pleased with my selfishness to run the light.....as he started to hang out his window to yell something, I hung out mine, sternly pointed at him, looked him in the eyes and said "NO! F*CK YOU!" before he had the chance to say a word. Felt greaaaaaat and he slowly pulled himself back in his window and was silenced.  Bottom line, I'm usually a very happy, out going individual but on days like today, if you see me running a yellow.......sit tight and wait for the next one. Have a great day! :)

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HEATER!!

For those of you who don't have kids you may not appreciate this as much as I do, but eating your kids candy or doing the old once over to make sure everything is safe to eat!! "WHAT IS THAT A PARTIALLY OPENED ROCKETS PACK??" No good....into the "garbage". :) "THAT'S NOT A PERFECTLY WRAPPED CANDY APPLE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO WAY OF BEING ALTERED SINCE PURCHASE IS IT?" GONE! (My kids hate me clearly around Halloween)
Less then a week away! Ship it!!! :)

COOLER!!

Having that feeling that you forgot something when you leave your house and then remembering what it is once you reach your destination!!

Mom- "Hey son, I know you're planning on leaving your house in 2 seconds, so can you remember the casserole dish I sent home with you last week, I need it back?"

Son- "of course Mom, I'm leaving now so I'll be sure to bring it...."

(10 minutes elapses and you arrive)

It's always right when you ring the doorbell that you realize it...FU*K!!

The second the door opens, you drop your head in shame...and she knows....

(repeat for 3 weeks until she comes and picks it up) COOLER!!

WORTH WHILE MENTIONING THIS IS NOT MY MOM....