Heaters and Coolers

HEATER!!

Saying something that isn’t meant to be funny but you later realize it came out PERFECTLY! My manager came back yesterday from vacation. I sauntered into his office yesterday morning to catch up since he’d been off for a couple of weeks. He went on to tell me that he visited Clearwater and Miami with his wife. Excellent to hear. I then went on to ask him if he got any “balling” in while he was in Miami (in my head meaning basketball) and he responded with “EXCUSE ME?!” seemingly surprised by the question. I then asked him again if he got any “balling” in while he was away…..too which he responded “that’s a pretty personal question”…..to which I broke out in laughter in his office putting the pieces together. HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Blocking the toilet and having NO PLUNGER to save you!! I literally was thinking of a HEATER and COOLER while enjoying a mid morning release. As I went to flush the toilet my worst nightmare came into play! I heard the gargling noise of the toilet as the water begins to rise. To my surprise my initial reaction was to reach for the plunger beside the toilet….NOT PRESENT. So now I’m panicking. I rummage through the drawers under the sink, look behind the garbage like there’s a chance I’m on “Punk’d” and this is all being video taped. NOTHING. So then I’m debating whether I wash up, make a run for it and leave it for the next unsuspecting washroom needing employee. I decide it’s poor long term planning and karma to leave a small infant for the next individual….. so I make a sprint down the back stairwell of my bank to the other washroom to try and salvage some decency and get the plunger from the other employee washroom (to which there’s 3 in my office BUT one is directly behind the teller line of the bank and likely would be quite embarrassing to run out of with a plunger in hand). NOT PRESENT downstairs as well….so I’m exploding with anxiety. I sprint BACK up the stairs and decide there’s only one thing left to do. Use the toilet bowl brush!! As I’m hammering away at the clog, someone tries to open the door and luckily I remembered to lock up. Could have definitely been the talk of the water cooler!!  I loosen the gateways and let the fresh water rush forward as I breathe a breath of fresh air and toss the brush back under the sink…(after the toilet rise obviously) HEATER!!

(I apologize for the graphic nature of this COOLER but as the book says everyone poops!)