HEATER!!

Trying a new food and ACTUALLY liking it!!  I tend to have the type of personality that easily gets attached to things that are amazing! So when I try a new food and it`s actually delicious I will contineu to eat the hell out of it until I can no longer stomach it. Pho was my first, then it was sushi and now I`ve been put onto one of the best breakfast ideas on the go ever! Check this out.....Tim Hortons.....Everything bagel double toasted......Herb and Garlic cream cheese WITH sliced tomato AND pepper! TRY IT. You will not be disappointed. HEATER!!

COOLER!!

I RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING COOLER FROM KRYSTAL FREDERICK FROM OTTAWA, CANADA

Christmas shopping at the MALL! Come November, you tell yourself you're gonna start your Christmas shopping early this year to avoid the rush. Let's face it, more time = more money saved up and unless you wipe ur a$$ with $100 bills, you have more important things to put your cash towards this time of year (winter tires, coats, boots, fixing the furnace etc.)
So December 23rd you head out to the malls only to start cursing the minute you turn into the parking lot. The mall is packed and you had to literally fight and old man for a spot within 10 miles from the entrance. The mall is hot and the music is loud in the damn stores you need to go into. The lineups at the cash make you cringe and most of all, you secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head. KEEP MOVING! COOOOOLLLLEEEERRR!!


 

HEATER!!

Watching kids play sports!! You can't help but laugh when you see a bunch of 4-5 yr olds running or skating in a flock like geese. All they want to do is get one single touch on the ball or puck. They don't care about scoring or even know what it really means, they just know that they have to touch the ball!!! All at once ideally!!

COOLER!!

The city deciding to do work right outside your house on your day off at 7:00 am!! I guess the trees on my street needed to be trimmed before the winter so why not do it at 7:00am. I also think it's funny how city workers are up at the break of dawn and government workers are the biggest slackers on earth! Shout outs to all my government working friends who check this site often because they have nothing better to do!! :)

 

HEATER!!

Chocolate Advent calenders! Seeing as how it is the first of December I figured it was only fitting to give a shout out to one of my favourite memories as a child. The Advent calender! We had a felt one growing up on our back door in the kitchen and every morning you would choose a felt christmas ornament from a set number and add it on to a velcro tree......pretty much the greatest thing as a child.  Then there's the chocolate breed that you can buy where the chocolates taste like rubber, but the idea of having chocolate regardless of taste at 7:30am before school for a whole month is such a HEATER!!

COOLER!!

I RECEIVED THIS COOLER FROM My Fellow BARTOX member DW yesterday!

“Getting a bill for winter tires and it being $600 at a discount and with the installation being done by your brother for free. On top of that still owing 80$ for another car part already purchased, which I still hasn't been paid for (So I have to pay $680 tonight totally unexpected) AND just started hearing last night that my front right break is F'd up and I will need new break pads. After I changed them only 25,000km ago on all 4 tires……. GG Winter”

Such a COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Someone you loves Birthday!! It's my daughters 10th Birthday today and it would only be right to talk about how great it is to see a big smile, get a big hug and most importantly see someone you love happy on their Birthday. I love you sweetie and have a great day!!

(FYI - SHE DOESN'T READ THIS BLOG.....MORE OF A HYPOTHETICAL BIRTHDAY WISH! lol)

COOLER!!

When someone sends a partner in crime to take up another lane at the grocery store!! We’re all in the same boat……analyze the line-ups and the people in them, pick a lane, dedicate yourself to it, and stick to it. What gives you the right to send your misfit children to aisles 3 and 5 while you’re in 8? Ridiculous. The ONLY time this is allowed is at the movie theatre. It’s a race to the face at that point. It’s an even playing field. Everyone is a mixed bag and could order simply a small popcorn or could order five combo 6’s. Send all your friends to different lanes at the theatre and all fold into one once you arrive at the pimple faced teenager working. Enjoy!

ADD YOUR NICKNAME HERE!

HEATER!!

Nicknames! Other then the obvious faux pas of creating your own nickname, any nickname you get from your friends is a great one! I have been called many things in my life some good some bad, but I have comprised some nicknames throughout the years that I’ve heard for both myself and others that are quite funny. Feel free to add your own by clicking on the link up top! My personal favourite is “Triple S” which stands for “Super Sperm Steve”. Judging by the fact that I have multiple children at a young age I feel it’s fitting. My friend Marcus is called “Ironman” due to the fact that he sleeps endlessly and clearly has an iron deficiency but says he doesn’t mind since he enjoys his daily coma’s. And the best I’ve seen to DATE that will never be beaten is my friend Steve’s buddy who goes by and I’ve heard him been called “Spaghetti man hold the sauce man wilderness man brad the gay brad the fuck up brotha brad DARB.” HEATER!

(this IS actually Brad......fits the nickname perfectly!)

COOLER!!

Having a name that people can spell incorrectly your whole life!! Whether it’s Erika/Erica, Iva/Eva or Kris/Chris having to spell your name out every single time you meet someone or register anywhere for your whole life is one of the biggest COOLERS you’ll experience. My last name is Stevenson with a V, YET almost every time I register somewhere they seem to feel the need to assume its spelt with a PH instead. So to save them the trouble, I don’t even say my last name anymore, I just start spelling it out. A little word game for them. Let them put the pieces together and finally say….”OH…….STEVENSON…..got it”.

HEATER!!

The anticipation for a trip! Whether its road trip, a trip across the world or just a trip to your favourite restaurant; the anticipation and excitement you have building up to the departure is always a HEATER.  You talk about it to everyone you know and they all hate you for it and of course you make sure to tell them every little detail about how much fun you’re going to have, how great the drinks will taste and how much you wish they could come with you…..but in your head all you’re thinking is SUCKAS!!! HAHAHAHA. Such a HEATER!

COOLER!!

Getting ANYTHING shot or thrown at your genitals!! I don’t know it’s the same for women, as I can only speak for myself, but the feeling and anticipation of pain that comes along with that split second before you’re about to get sacked is one of the biggest COOLERS a man can experience. I’ve gotten everything from soccer balls, hockey pucks, tennis balls, back hand slaps and the worst of all….the donkey punch! None feel better then other, so hold your breathe, take a knee and caress those suckers cause you’re in for a bumpy few hours!! COOLER!

HEATER!!

Technology! How great is it to have a machine make coffee for you at the touch of a button, or play someone at a video game that lives in Argentina?! Some of the simplest things that we take for granted every day are some of the coolest technologies ever created. Think about this for a second…I’m typing this sitting at my home laptop. You’re reading it online from a different location, different city or different country and it was sent IMMEDIATELY for the rest of the world to see. How crazy is that? They used to think black and white television was cool, imagine where we’ll be in 10 years!! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Arguments caused by Facebook! Haha. I had to laugh while I was waiting in line last night at the local Loblaw’s and heard a teenage couple behind me in line bickering about someone posting on dudes wall. It went down like this VERBATIM:

Chick- “who the f*ck is Julie and why the hell did she add you as a friend?”  

Dude- “she’s Corey’s sister’s friend…..I told you about her”

Chick – “or the wh*re that Mark slept with at Rachel’s party?”

Dude – “the same”

Chick – “so I guess your next on her f*ck list then??!!”

Dude – “you got it, we’re meeting up tonight………you’re an idiot”

Chick – “go f*ck yourself”

She then proceeds to storm through the cash and walk out of the store…..I look around in amazement that no one else but the cashier witnessed this and gave her the WTF jaw drop open eyed stare! AMAZING for us….COOLER for him. Good ol’ F*ckbook….

HEATER!!

Long morning pees! Guys might be the only ones who can relate to this, but there’s a certain pride you take in being able to pee for over a long period of time in the morning. I’ve been known to purposely leave the door open when I feel my bladder is full enough to make a statement and let the world know….I OWN THE LONGEST PEE RECORD!! Tell your friends!! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Breaking a bone right before a vacation!! I have to say I’m lucky and this hasn’t happened to me, but one of my close friends at work is preparing for a trip to Mexico with her friends in 4 days and strolls in with a cast on her arm!!! Hahahaha!! No swimming, no ocean, just basting in the sun with no way to refresh…at least drinks are allowed with broken limbs!! COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Advice! I love the advice that you get from seasoned vet’s….people that have been through the trenches and seen the up’s and down’s life has to offer.  You may not always accept it, but having someone who can share a tale or two, toss a couple cliches your way and make you feel slightly better about your situation can be a HEATER on a cold day. :)

COOLER!!

The power going out! I was sitting at home yesterday on my day off, enjoying some sports highlights and the odd game of Xbox, when I experience one of the biggest COOLERS during the day that can possibly happen. The POWER GOES OUT! Break out the candles and flashlights at night, or the book (if you have any) or cell phone during the day, because it’s CIRCA 1800 AC day and you’re the star!

HEATER!!

Sports highlights! Not only do you not have to watch the game, but you get someone to hand craft a 30 second strip of all the best highlights of the game for your viewing pleasure! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

The beginning of Winter!! I woke up today to my fiance telling me that she bailed in the driveway due to the ice rink we had in our driveway! Winter in Canada is comparible to no other season. It's cold, icy, frustrating, bitter and at times the worst part of your day. Winter tires, winter gloves, winter jackets, winter everything!! F.U.W!