Heater!!

People who are optimistic!! Throughout our lives we meet people who are either optimistic or pessimistic and needless to say it helps everyone around when you find someone who always sees things from a positive stand point. I clearly have been through the ringer and had my up’s and down’s but one thing I’ve learned from my experiences is that things can ALWAYS be worse and no matter how bad you think things are, there’s someone that has been or is in a worse situation. Here’s to optimism and staying positive!!

Cooler!!

Child obesity!! I am proud to say that I have two beautiful healthy children that are both active in sports, dance and running around the house. I do feel sorry for the kids of parents who throw junk food at them because they rush dinner, or simply get drive thru every night because they're too lazy to cook for their children. You made the concious decision to have your children so try taking care of them and acting like you give a shit about their well being and future. That's my rant for the day. Have a great weekend filled with Wendy's and McDonalds!!  

HEATER!!

Shiny Happy People!! I don’t know why but the song Shiny Happy People by REM is on a steady rotation at my work and every time it comes on I not only sing along but often find myself doing a jig on my desk before a colleague or client asks me what the hell I’m doing. Great song!! Believe it or not it’s 20 years old now!! WOW. I’m starting to be that person that talks about songs and kids don’t know what it is!! EEEEEEEEEESSSSH!!!

COOLER!!

Realizing that you're getting old!! Refer to HEATER!!

HEATER!!

Making lists for people!!

A)      It makes people read what you have to say because everyone loves
           reading lists

B)      It keeps people anticipating what you’re going to write next which
           makes what you’re saying more interesting

C)      It looks more visually appealing

D)      You can drag them on for half the alphabet with out saying anything of

           purpose

E)      Once you get past D you know that your list has past the multiple 
           choice stage and become an actual list!

F)      HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Being the victim of a crime!! No one likes to be the victim but unfortunately in this world we live in bad things happen to good people. We've actually had multiple cases of people having their tires slashed in my works parking lot lately and then having their purses snatched by the "good samaritan" as the victim gets the tire out of the trunk. COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Seeing yourself or someone you know in the newspaper!! It really means nothing to everyone else in the city or the world for that matter but when you see your ugly mug in the paper as a wild fan at the playoff game or a friend who’s mom helps out at the local food bank on the front page of the Christmas Eve paper, you feel a slight satisfaction in knowing that in your little world…….you or somebody you know is a celebrity for a day!! HEATER!! 

COOLER!!

Not being able to think of a COOLER for today?!! Lol.

I’ll be back with a great one tomorrow. CHESSSIR!!!

HEATER!!

Mini stick hockey!! I had an older brother growing up and one of our favourite past times was playing stick hockey. (or hand hockey depending on whether we had hit each other with the sticks and had them taken away) My son just turned 4 and is an avid hockey player and budding hockey star. For Christmas my 93 year old grandma got him a mini stick set FULL with goalie stick, 2 player sticks AND a NET!!!! Needless to say I have never played with my son more then I have since Christmas, pretty much dragging him out of bed to play mini stuick hockey with me. HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Telling someone that their baby is cute when it’s the ugliest baby in the world!! Lying is never advised, but there are times when it is necessary to avoid suicide and people sending their infants away in wicker baskets down the river for strangers to find and raise into kings. I have seen many a few cute babies in my day but the odd U.I.S. or “ugly infant syndrome” baby is always worth avoiding. Last thing you want to do is talk about how cute their child is as you try not to throw up lunch. Definite COOLER.

HEATER!!

Doing something nice for someone and getting something twice as nice in return!! I recently decided that I would buy a tie for a close colleague of mine when he mentioned that he liked a certain pattern of tie. I brought the tie in today (which I haven't yet given to him) and as I sit down at my desk, a different colleague of mine surprises me with a full Sausage n' Egg mcmuffin meal!! AMAZING! I love you Karma. HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Having a scenic paint job on the back of your truck and thinking it’s cool!! I was driving behind a pick up the other day and saw the ever popular wolf howling at the moon painted on the back drop of his truck. What would ever come over someone to make them think that this would ever be socially acceptable and GG on every selling that truck to someone else. Only thing missing was the gun rack!! COOLER!!

( I know it's sticker before anyone thinks I'm completely a ra-tard)

HEATER!!

Passing down a life lesson you’ve learned to someone else!! We all have our every day jobs that we work 9-5 at but we also have all played therapist at one time or another to a friend or family member. As life goes on we all experience many trials and tribulations but once you are through them you can better understand what caused them and hopefully help others prevent it from happening to themselves. So keep your psychiatrist chairs leaned back and scotch on the rocks ready to help your friends through some lifetime coolers with your ample experience. HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Sad advertising ploys!! I frequent many websites daily as do billions of others across the world and I don’t know about you, but I am driven insane by different companies trying to market at our website perusing expense! The worst in my opinion is the pop up ads that have now adopted the trickery of putting the “X to CLOSE” button in random places other then the top right of the ad to entice you to view their advertisement for a longer period of time. I had one today on a site I was looking at that had post it’s continuously placed over each other, over and over and over while I frantically looked for the damn “X” button which was no where to be found. GET OFF YOURSELF!! COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Fist pumping!! As previously mentioned I am a rather large fan of electronic house music (DJ Antoine, Tim Berg, Tiesto etc.) and I love the act of fist pumping. Once a song takes over and you can’t control yourself any longer, you fists jump into action and own the night! Jersey Shore has definitely pushed the popularity to new heights as the guido’s punch holes through roofs in Karma nightclub but it is something I enjoy doing in my car, living room or on the DF! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

When you're making dinner for friends or family and realize you forgot that ONE thing that makes the meal at the grocery store!! Whether its garlic spread for the garlic bread, chocolate sauce for the sundae desserts or just the red wine to go with the steak, you can continue kicking yourself and cursing but you know deep down you're going to have to suck it up and head BACK to the store! COOLER!

HEATER!!

Family reunions!! Growing up I was lucky to have most of my cousins, aunts and uncles live in either Montreal or Toronto (within 2-4 hours)  so it was pretty common to see them once every couple of months. As you grow up you become more and more distant (usually) with your non-immediate family so it’s always nice to have the once a decade reunion with the WHOLE family. The old farting great uncles, the new baby that was a “surprises” to your cousin and of course the grandparents who will say anything they want because they started the damn family. It always takes an hour or two, but after everyone gets back in their groove it’s like you never skipped a beat and you feel closer then ever!! Such a HEATER!! Cue photo op!!

COOLER!!

When the team you cheer for is having a "bad season". As you all know I am a rather large Ottawa Senators fan. They play in the NHL (National Hockey League) here in North America and consistently have made the playoffs for the last 10-12 years. This year they decided they would leave their talent at home, get old and stop scoring goals, meaning we've dropped to the bottom of the totem pole and the only thing we have to look forward to is the first draft pick next year. We have turned into the Toronto Maple Leafs. Such a COOLER!!

Look Mike Fisher, even your wife is saying WTF!! STEP IT UP BOYS!!

HEATER!!

GT Snow Racers!! I apologize in advance for all my African followers or people who don’t get to see the beauty that we call winter here in Canada, but growing up we frequently visited the tobogganing hills. Pretty much a steep hill of snow that is a death trap for children aged 3 to whenever you feel too old to do it. There are many different devices to plummet you down the hill which vary from crazy carpets to flying saucers to the old wooden 3 man bobsledding type toboggan that some how no one ever gets hurt on even though it’s insanely unsafe. The Mac daddy of all toboggans though, the Rolls Royce if you may……is the GT SNOW RACER. The name itself sends chills down kid’s spines. The feeling you get as you rip by the other donkey kids on their flat pieces of plastic is like no other. You own the hill, you own the day, and you own their life!! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Bad hand shakers!! There's two things I hate when shaking hands with people other then the obvious bacteria that's exchanged as a nice HELLO! The first is the "crusty hand" hand shake. This is when you're shaking hands with a trades man or someone who has defied the test of time. When you shake their hand you might as well wrap a piece of sand paper around it because your hand will turn to stone after you finish. The second is the good old banana peel handshake also know as the fish handshake since you break every bone in their hand when you shake it. This is when a person has no muscle or bone structure in their hand and the second you put you hand around their fingers tips (as this is usually what they offer as a platter) you shake what feels like the remains of a banana peel. Step your game up humans! Either spend 2$ on some lotion or learn to strengthen those hands! Such a COOLER!