HEATER!!

Doing something nice for someone and getting something twice as nice in return!! I recently decided that I would buy a tie for a close colleague of mine when he mentioned that he liked a certain pattern of tie. I brought the tie in today (which I haven't yet given to him) and as I sit down at my desk, a different colleague of mine surprises me with a full Sausage n' Egg mcmuffin meal!! AMAZING! I love you Karma. HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Having a scenic paint job on the back of your truck and thinking it’s cool!! I was driving behind a pick up the other day and saw the ever popular wolf howling at the moon painted on the back drop of his truck. What would ever come over someone to make them think that this would ever be socially acceptable and GG on every selling that truck to someone else. Only thing missing was the gun rack!! COOLER!!

( I know it's sticker before anyone thinks I'm completely a ra-tard)

HEATER!!

Passing down a life lesson you’ve learned to someone else!! We all have our every day jobs that we work 9-5 at but we also have all played therapist at one time or another to a friend or family member. As life goes on we all experience many trials and tribulations but once you are through them you can better understand what caused them and hopefully help others prevent it from happening to themselves. So keep your psychiatrist chairs leaned back and scotch on the rocks ready to help your friends through some lifetime coolers with your ample experience. HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Sad advertising ploys!! I frequent many websites daily as do billions of others across the world and I don’t know about you, but I am driven insane by different companies trying to market at our website perusing expense! The worst in my opinion is the pop up ads that have now adopted the trickery of putting the “X to CLOSE” button in random places other then the top right of the ad to entice you to view their advertisement for a longer period of time. I had one today on a site I was looking at that had post it’s continuously placed over each other, over and over and over while I frantically looked for the damn “X” button which was no where to be found. GET OFF YOURSELF!! COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Fist pumping!! As previously mentioned I am a rather large fan of electronic house music (DJ Antoine, Tim Berg, Tiesto etc.) and I love the act of fist pumping. Once a song takes over and you can’t control yourself any longer, you fists jump into action and own the night! Jersey Shore has definitely pushed the popularity to new heights as the guido’s punch holes through roofs in Karma nightclub but it is something I enjoy doing in my car, living room or on the DF! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

When you're making dinner for friends or family and realize you forgot that ONE thing that makes the meal at the grocery store!! Whether its garlic spread for the garlic bread, chocolate sauce for the sundae desserts or just the red wine to go with the steak, you can continue kicking yourself and cursing but you know deep down you're going to have to suck it up and head BACK to the store! COOLER!

HEATER!!

Family reunions!! Growing up I was lucky to have most of my cousins, aunts and uncles live in either Montreal or Toronto (within 2-4 hours)  so it was pretty common to see them once every couple of months. As you grow up you become more and more distant (usually) with your non-immediate family so it’s always nice to have the once a decade reunion with the WHOLE family. The old farting great uncles, the new baby that was a “surprises” to your cousin and of course the grandparents who will say anything they want because they started the damn family. It always takes an hour or two, but after everyone gets back in their groove it’s like you never skipped a beat and you feel closer then ever!! Such a HEATER!! Cue photo op!!

COOLER!!

When the team you cheer for is having a "bad season". As you all know I am a rather large Ottawa Senators fan. They play in the NHL (National Hockey League) here in North America and consistently have made the playoffs for the last 10-12 years. This year they decided they would leave their talent at home, get old and stop scoring goals, meaning we've dropped to the bottom of the totem pole and the only thing we have to look forward to is the first draft pick next year. We have turned into the Toronto Maple Leafs. Such a COOLER!!

Look Mike Fisher, even your wife is saying WTF!! STEP IT UP BOYS!!

HEATER!!

GT Snow Racers!! I apologize in advance for all my African followers or people who don’t get to see the beauty that we call winter here in Canada, but growing up we frequently visited the tobogganing hills. Pretty much a steep hill of snow that is a death trap for children aged 3 to whenever you feel too old to do it. There are many different devices to plummet you down the hill which vary from crazy carpets to flying saucers to the old wooden 3 man bobsledding type toboggan that some how no one ever gets hurt on even though it’s insanely unsafe. The Mac daddy of all toboggans though, the Rolls Royce if you may……is the GT SNOW RACER. The name itself sends chills down kid’s spines. The feeling you get as you rip by the other donkey kids on their flat pieces of plastic is like no other. You own the hill, you own the day, and you own their life!! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Bad hand shakers!! There's two things I hate when shaking hands with people other then the obvious bacteria that's exchanged as a nice HELLO! The first is the "crusty hand" hand shake. This is when you're shaking hands with a trades man or someone who has defied the test of time. When you shake their hand you might as well wrap a piece of sand paper around it because your hand will turn to stone after you finish. The second is the good old banana peel handshake also know as the fish handshake since you break every bone in their hand when you shake it. This is when a person has no muscle or bone structure in their hand and the second you put you hand around their fingers tips (as this is usually what they offer as a platter) you shake what feels like the remains of a banana peel. Step your game up humans! Either spend 2$ on some lotion or learn to strengthen those hands! Such a COOLER!

HEATER!!

Work Benefits!! I am lucky to have the option of purchasing a benefit plan, and although I do pay for it partially each paycheck, being able to walk into my dentist and have $1000 worth of work done and paying $0 for it is such a HEATER!! Lots of employers offer benefits but I am happy to say that having 100% dental coverage has saved me and my children $1000`s of dollars. I actually intentionally break my teeth once a year to make sure I’m getting my money’s worth. (kidding….sort of) HEATER!!

COOLER!!

In conjunction with the HEATER today I will follow up with a tooth COOLER that I have experienced over the years. My teeth are dear to me for many reasons. 1) I don’t have many real ones left either from breaking them through various endeavours/stupidity or having them crowned and bridged up. 2) They allow me to eat various delicious foods which are so dear to my heart as well. Lol.  When I was 10 years old I thought it would be fun to ride my brothers bike which was substantially bigger then I was around the block, only to run into the back of a parked car due to lack of attention to the road in front of me and smash my face on the back window. It caused my two front teeth to break and my lip to have a permanent deformation. COOLER!! Fast forward to 1999 and I was in my friend Marcus` backyard having a nice BBQ and in the attempt to escape a bee dove into the shallow end of his pool, once again smashing my teeth and changing the colour of the pool to a nice Kool-aid red. Marcus responded with a white towel to help me out. All around, I love my teeth, but apparently they try and get out of my mouth faster then I can replace them!! COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Coupons!! I don’t know if you have seen the show Extreme Couponing yet but it is absolutely ridiculous how much these people save from bargain hunting and printing coupons of the internet. I won’t go as far as to say I’m an "Extreme Couponer" but it definitely never hurts to get the old 2 for 1 or $2 off when you get to the cash. To all the coupons out there I say Thank you! And keep the HEATERS coming!

COOLER!!

Losing your wallet!! I won't lie, I have actually not carried a wallet for approximately 10 years or so. I have a small metallic case that I carry my whole life in pretty much.  Visa Card, Debit Card, Health Card, Drivers License etc so when I misplace it or think that I may have dropped it, or left it somewhere, I pretty much have a heart attack. The best is when you get to the cash and realize you don’t have it!! COOLER!!

HEATER!!

When you go to the hospital for something expecting it to be bad and it turns out to be nothing!! My son who is 4 has been in and out of the hospital for many things since he was born, but most recently he has had many bladder and kidney issues. We went yesterday to speak with a kidney specialist and it turns out that it is likely nothing to worry about which is a huge relief.  Definitely a personal HEATER!

COOLER!!

When you are anticipating a package to arrive that you’ve been long waiting for and it doesn’t come……and in fact it’s 5 days late!! Every day feels like an eternity as you wait for the door bell to ring and your package to arrive, but alas NOTHING! YES I’m 27 and YES it’s my Xbox I’m waiting for! BAAAAAAAH!!!! DAILY COOLER!!

HEATER!!

Piping hot fries from McDonalds! I can’t even explain the let down when you rip through the drive thru and when you get home your French fries are flimsier then Ron Jeremy after a day of work….but when you catch that HEATER of a fresh batch of McDonalds fries out of the hot oil, there’s nothing like it!! Thank you Golden Arches for all you do to make this world a better place!!

COOLER!!

Dealing with awkward situations regardless of what they may be!! Whether it’s bumping into an old “friend” from High School or your past, getting caught saying something you’re not supposed too or going to a wake and hovering awkwardly around family members of the deceased….awkward situations are always a COOLER. The tension that is in the air and the awkward silences make for a long 5 minutes but at least everyone is on the same page and can laugh about it (to themselves obviously) afterwards. COOLER!!!

HEATER!!

3 pay months!! I know for some of you that are paid twice monthly or even by contracts, you won’t understand the small pleasure you receive those two months a year (for us bi-weekly incomers) where you receive three paychecks instead of two!! Not that I look for them in advance but I just realized I have one coming up in March 2011!! HEATER!!

COOLER!!

Having a name that is awful but suits you PERFECTLY! I was strolling around my local Shoppers Drug Mart yesterday and walked up to the cash to see this interesting looking woman. I looked down at her name tag and it read “GERTRUDE”. I couldn’t have thought up a better name then that for her. Other favourites, BERTHA and GLADYS. I grew up with Sesame Street and there was always a cow called GLADYS THE COW so whenever I hear that name I can’t help but picture it.