CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS!!

HEATER!!

Getting free tickets when you least expect it!! I was sitting at work yesterday in the middle of a coaching session with a colleague of mine when I saw an email pop up from one of the Executives at our company that read "SENS GAME TONIGHT?" to which I told my colleague to halt, hit reply immediately and simply wrote "I'm in!" back. When you're expecting to head home in a couple of hours to make dinner and watch re-runs, and then you get the offer of free tickets to ANYTHING for that evening, ESPECIALLY work tickets which you know are going to be ON the players bench.....auto HEATER!! Ship!

 

COOLER!!

Feeling guilty!! Whether you cheated on an exam, cheated on your girlfriend or just plain did something that was wrong, the feeling of guilt is one of the biggest coolers you can experience. There's two parts to this sunk feeling; 1) Is the actually feeling of guilt and knowing what you did was wrong and 2) knowing you're going to have to confess your mistake eventually and seeing the disappointment on the receivers face. No one likes to make others feel bad, and if you do you're more then likely in jail, homeless or run your own business. (business owners like to see their employees feel like ass from my experiences....lol) So if you've done something wrong lately, take that monkey off your shoulders and confess to your mistakes!! Otherwise the G.C. (Guilt Cooler) will remain!!

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS!!

HEATER!!

Scoring a game winning goal!! I grew up playing sports and have always been involved in team sports....I love winning.  The feeling of scoring a game winning goal regardless of how important the game is is amazing! Your team runs over, picks you up on their shoulders and for 15 minutes you're it....you're the star...you're the hero...you're the game winner!! SHIP IT. HEATER!!

Shout outs to Sid the Kid for shutting up Team USA!! :) GAME WINNER.

COOLER!!

Being sick!! You wake up and feel a hot sweat take over your body, your throat is irrated and all you can think about is your pounding headache and sore bones. You're sick. It sucks. Time to deal with it.  It's time for chicken noodle soup, THAT sick blanket that you have just for these special occasions and day time television. Roll out of bed, curl up on the couch with some honey lemon tea and get better.

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS

HEATER!!

PHO!! For those of you who haven`t ever tried this fantastic vietnamese soup, you have no idea what you`re missing out on. I was introduced to it by a friend 5-6 years ago and in turn have introduced many of my friends to it as well. It comes in all different sizes, different ingredients and everyone has their own regular order. It may take a couple of visits to get it down pat, but you`ll find your falvour and your perfect combination and then you will be in Pho heaven!
SHIP!

 

COOLER!!

Computer problems! I f*ckin hate technology sometimes. We have a love hate relationship. I wrote a post yesterday that on the preview looked great and then once it was posted the text was underlined and different sizes with absolutely no rhyme or reason. I tried deleting it and typing it again, I tried adjusting it multiple times and it just decided it`s going to have a mind of its own. Ì love my computer, it`s pretty much like a roomate to me, but there have been multiple times where the my computer at work or computer in the public library decides it`s going to shut down or even better, just freeeeeeeeze up. That`s when I say F U technology. Get your own sandwich!

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS

HEATER!!


Sports rivalries!! I am from Ottawa and a very passionate Senators fan. I have the jersey, the car sticker, the face paint and hair dye for the playoffs and everything in between. There's no better feeling then when you're heading to a game against a team that you and every other dedicated fan dispises. It's like going to war. In Ottawa it's pretty much guaranteed that half the arena will be filled with Toronto Maple Leaf fans or Montreal Canadien fans which means you better loosen up your vocal cords and get your middle fingers ready for a good old fashioned barn burning hootenanny!!

 

COOLER!!


Getting rained out!! Whether it's a pick-up game with your friends or the first World Series game you're ever going to see, getting rained out has to be one of the worst feelings ever. As a kid you'd always look forward to "soccer day" or the track and field meet...then you wake up and see the dreaded H2O falling from the sky and all of your hopes and dreams are ruined, cancelled and RAINED OUT. Cooler!!

 

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS

HEATER!!

Snow days!! When I was a kid I'd wake up, stumble down the stairs (somethings haven't changed) and plop myself down at the breakfast table seeing what sugar bowl I would indulge in this morning. Lucky Charms was one of my faves. I feel a slight draft of cold air and glance out the window to see 25 cm of snow sitting on our windowsill. Mom has the radio on listening intently and then I hear Mike and Mary from Energy 1200 talking....mom turns it up and I hear the magic words for any child under 10....."BUSES HAVE BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO THE WEATHER!! LOOKS LIKE IT'LL BE ANOTHER SNOW DAY KIDS!" Mom hangs her head in despair as my brother sister and I all cheer in excitement. Snowmen, forts and street hockey with the neighbourhood kids is in our near future....you get an in house credit for cereal in exchange for hot chocolate in 2 hours, toss on the snow pants and jacket and head out into the white wilderness....let the snow day begin!

COOLER!!

Stepping in dog shit!! I had just finished enjoying a nice lunch with Cheese, TJ and Tremblay and I got in my car to drive home. To my surprise, there's a lingering smell of sh*t in my car.....I figured that maybe it was coming in through the vents from outside until it would NOT go away...I look down at my feet, and see a rather large CLUMP of dog sh*t.....not only was it now smeared all over my shoes but my brake and gas both had a new brown tint to them. AMAZING. The best part is cleaning it up though. Nothing better then getting on your hands and knees and scrubbing someone elses dogs sh*t off your gas peddles. PICK UP YOUR F*&%IN DOG'S SH*T OR DON'T BUY A DOG YOU USELESS WASTE TO SOCIETY. That's all. Have a great day.

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS

HEATER!!

BANGERS!! I don't mean the gang banger type banger either...I'm talking a good ol' fashioned, club bumping, fist pumping, foot stomping BANGER!! I have always been a fan of multiple genres of music, but there's only one type that will literally make me scream mid song out of shear energy and passion.....one genre that will make me stop everything and dance....one genre that will make me say......NO I will not two step....No I will not tap my knee with my palm.....I'm going to get on the floor, pump my fist, jump around like a epileptic seizure and dance the night away.....CLUB BANGERS!!

COOLER!!

Construction workers that stop traffic!! I was driving home from work today and some neon vest wearing donk decided it was his obligation to stop traffic on a 2 lane street so that a backhoe can slooooooowly reverse in the middle of the street, pretty much wave his middle finger to everyone wanting to get home and the sloooooowly goes back to the side of the road. Now don't get me wrong, if it were a city employee or something that was actually using my tax dollars fine.....but they were working on PRIVATE property, were a PRIVATE company and had absolutely no jurisdiction to stop traffic or impede the drive home for so many of us. GET OFF YOURSELF!!

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS!!

HEATER!!

Moustaches!! I received an email today from a colleague to grow a moustache in the month of November to support Prostate Cancer. I'm all for moustaches and all for supporting prostates so it's pretty much a done deal. I sported the most outrageous handlebars and chops for Canada's run in the Olympics last year and either got high fives from strangers or the dirtiest looks from women wanting to slap me...either were fine as my point was to make a statement. The ringing of the cowbell and blowing of the vuvuzela more then likely didn't help the dirty looks either. :) Here's to loud obnoxious friends, and more importantly loud obnoxious friends with ridiculous moustaches!! HEATER!

COOLER!!

Commercials!! Maybe it's 3rd and long in the 4th quarter of the Superbowl....or your team is about to go on a powerplay with 2 minutes left down by one.....or maybe even Derek Sheppard is about to be shot by a serial killer while Meredith watches from a distance...regardless of the situation......regardless of how great that Arby's burger looks for 30 seconds.....even regardless of your mental state of mind....commercials have always been and will always be one of the biggest daily COOLERS we encounter....I don't care if PC finally outlasted MAC or if SAFE HAPPENS for some VW owners....all I want is a commercial free, cinematic experience. THANK GOD FOR PVR....and now....back to your regular scheduled internet surfing! :)

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS!!

HEATER!!

Getting what you want!! You know the second you hear two options which one you want....sometimes you can control it, sometimes you can't, but the feeling of wanting something specific and GETTING IT at the end of the day is such a HEATER. I would say it's pretty much the same feeling as someone bringing you something to eat without you knowing and it's EXACTLY the order that you love. Big Mac, extra pickles.....FANTASTIC.

COOLER!!

Getting picked last in gym class!! I won't lie, it's never happened to me....but the dejection on little Jimmy's face when he hears captains will be selecting the teams instead of Mr. Johnson handing out pinny's is like no other.  I might as well have grabbed a bag of dog shit, lit it on fire and thrown it at him. Another long 45 minutes of first period physical education and another disappointed student fighting through the social network of that dungeon called High School.  GG (good game) LIFE! Jimmy pass the F'IN ball!! :)





CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS!!

HEATER!!

All you can eat buffets!! You are sitting at home, can't think about what to eat but your stomach is growling, staaaarving.......your cell phone goes off and it's your friend with a simple "buffet?" text message and instantly you mind wonders to hot plate after hot plate of singapore noodles, sushi, spicy beef and prime rib....your mouth starts to water and you reply with a "where- X buffet/ when- 5 MINUTES AGO!" text....off you go to your fantasy of food and all of the great side affects that come along with that! There is one buffet I've been to at Caesar's Palace in LV and they actually brought me out a seafood platter on shaved ice to my table....crab legs, muscles, shrimp, oysters...if it had ever see the touch f salt water, it was on this plate.....just HEAVENLY! Mmmmmm...

COOLER!!

Bad days!! I was sitting here having trouble thinking of a really good COOLER and then realized I've having a really shitty day, and thought I'd use that since it's probably the most common and over looked COOLER of all. You wake up and just have that feeling....that feeling that you're going to want to kill every single person that crosses you and explode on anyone that decides today's the day they're going to challenge your argument in the lunchroom. IN the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman "BIG MISTAKE.....HUGE!"....I deal with people everyday so when I have a bad day it basically boils up inside as I can't be angry with my clients and gets unleashed on some unsuspecting civilian who runs in front of my car on the way home. Perfect example....4-5 years ago I was having the aforementioned bad day and was driving down St. Laurent Blvd near the Red Lobster...(for those of you that live in Ottawa) and I saw the light beginning to change from green to yellow. I sped up as I was in a hurry and saw the man in the on coming traffic waiting to turn left non-pleased with my selfishness to run the light.....as he started to hang out his window to yell something, I hung out mine, sternly pointed at him, looked him in the eyes and said "NO! F*CK YOU!" before he had the chance to say a word. Felt greaaaaaat and he slowly pulled himself back in his window and was silenced.  Bottom line, I'm usually a very happy, out going individual but on days like today, if you see me running a yellow.......sit tight and wait for the next one. Have a great day! :)

CLICK HERE TO ADD COMMENTS!!

HEATER!!

For those of you who don't have kids you may not appreciate this as much as I do, but eating your kids candy or doing the old once over to make sure everything is safe to eat!! "WHAT IS THAT A PARTIALLY OPENED ROCKETS PACK??" No good....into the "garbage". :) "THAT'S NOT A PERFECTLY WRAPPED CANDY APPLE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO WAY OF BEING ALTERED SINCE PURCHASE IS IT?" GONE! (My kids hate me clearly around Halloween)
Less then a week away! Ship it!!! :)

COOLER!!

Having that feeling that you forgot something when you leave your house and then remembering what it is once you reach your destination!!

Mom- "Hey son, I know you're planning on leaving your house in 2 seconds, so can you remember the casserole dish I sent home with you last week, I need it back?"

Son- "of course Mom, I'm leaving now so I'll be sure to bring it...."

(10 minutes elapses and you arrive)

It's always right when you ring the doorbell that you realize it...FU*K!!

The second the door opens, you drop your head in shame...and she knows....

(repeat for 3 weeks until she comes and picks it up) COOLER!!

WORTH WHILE MENTIONING THIS IS NOT MY MOM....